The Mirror

The Mirror

Looking in the mirror everything done changed
Friends aint friends, enemies aint the same
Stand up, head strong until my views gone
Been here for way too long, I’m tryna move on

He never judges me unless I let him, out of my friends he’s the best
I’m talking about my mirror, where my conscience goes to rest
Everyday is like a confession, sometimes I step away from him blessed
Today, I’m not too sure, as I speak from the chest
The biggest player I’ve ever known, I swear I’ve never even met
His legend is in my blood, so at times my own blood I don’t respect
He had 6 baby mamas, at the same school no less
Believed in the bible yes, but didn’t believe in protected sex
So out pops me, and about 5 more siblings I’ve never met
Got me asking girlfriends about their daddys, for fear of incest
Shit, ya see bastards we build up this blind hate, because historically
More than blacks, Mexicans or Asians, we’ve always been the fastest growing minority
Hating our sperm donars, though ironically..and we refuse to claim this
We’ll spit into their toilet of bad decisions, then end up doing the same shit
Is it in my genes to get in her jeans, huh mirror? then split after she splits?
To know I’m slitting her heart’s wrists only to claim ignorance is bliss?
Its like I wake up with this feeling, a bit of pain, pride and anger
Commiting suicide everyday without a bullet in the chamber
But with a penis in a rubber, feelings yelling “danger!”
Never tell her goodbye the next morning, was taught to not talk to strangers
It’s the boy in me, and hes now looking at his reflection
Wondering why the image he sees at times has him second guessin
The biggest player I’ve ever known, today I might forgive ya
Because I’m feelin like I just saw you staring back at me in the mirror, yeah I’m…

Looking in the mirror everything done changed
Friends aint friends, enemies aint the same
Stand up, head strong until my views gone
Been here for way too long, it’s time to move on

See when you’re looking in the mirror, every thought is at your fingers
Feelings you want to forget, memories you want to remember
You ever notice how many people you lose touch wit
I mean people that went from family, to that person “I useta fuck wit”
Played Power Rangers with Bryan, wrestled with Marcus
Smoked weed with Lawrence, and argued over who was the darkest
My cousin Beverly died before me and her could ever make good
Fell out years before her death, don’t miss her as much as I should
Yeah I’m looking in the mirror, at every win and every failure
Seeing more faces pass with time, than a veteran watch maker
Like my girl Stacey, at 16 she was like my little sis
Boy crazy as hell, had her own St. Aug membership
She useta come to me askin advice for every problem under the sun
Being her big brother, I felt I had heard em all accept one
It was a Sunday afternoon, Stacy wasn’t sayin much
Just writing in her notebook and her face look a bit flushed
I asked her what was wrong, she said “nothing.” went back into her zone
Said she wanted to be alone, then she asked me to bring her home
Still in her zone, in the passengers seat she asked me to keep a secret
I said yeah, she made me promise to never even breathe it
I said “ite”, she said “I told him to stop” and didn’t say another word
I’m driving, waiting for the rest..but, she didn’t say another word
She said it again, “I told him to stop, he didn‘t” and then she started fidgetting
I ask “What chu you talkin about?”, she replied“Are all boys this bad at listenin?”
I was feeling kinda confused, til I looked at her face, full of fear and anger
Then she stared at me, with a look as if I was now a stranger
I wanted to say a lot of things, but no words passed my mouth
Got to her house, my phone rang and in that instant she hopped out
I answered it, it was my dude James, see James was my big brother
Knew him since I was 3, he held me down like no other
Like NO OTHER…so it’s the same day, and he’s calling me stressed
Scared as hell, saying there’s something he needs to confess
He blurted out that the night before he and Stacy had had sex
A few drinks, a lot of flirting ended with his hand up her dress
So hes now going nuts, because she’s 16 and he’s 22
Afraid she’s going to tell somebody and asking me what to do
You ever feel time freeze? I mean truly feel its ice
And as you melt back into reality, you realize how much life’s frost bites
Yeah Mirror, I know you remember me lookin like a dear in the headlights
Looking at you, sitting in her driveway, telling him everything is gonna be all right
He was my big brother, my idol, she was my lil sister since age 10
Told him I’d calm her down, hung up and didn’t talk to either of them again
She blamed me for not protecting her, and he knew I knew the truth
Its screwed up, but who am I to judge?
Huh Mirror? I already told you what I do
And as I finish shedding light on the shadows in my rearview
The mirror accepts my excuse, but my reflection won’t let me loose
Looking in the mirror everything done changed
Friends aint friends, enemies aint the same
My reflection, tells me to move on and hop over the fence
Life is a game to be played, so enjoy it until you’re benched
And though my English is quite polite, you’ll have to excuse my French
When I say FUCK the past, sometimes whats meant is meant and that’s it
With this, I back away from the mirror and take my morning piss
Wash my hands, dry em off, and give once last look to the mirror, eyes fixed
Everything aint gon always be perfect, and neither will everyone
Gotta learn to be comfortable with all the good and the bullshit you’ve done
For the first time today, I’m recognizing the man in my reflection
And I’m confessing, that I’ll fight to always maintain this blessing…

Stand up, head strong until my views gone
Been here for way too long, it’s time to move on

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