Me and McDonald’s have a love/hate relationship, I love to hate their drive thru workers and Ronald hates my love of burgers without cheese. If cheese could kill me I’d be a damn millionaire because I would’ve sued Mickey Ds long ago. For some reason Ronald decides to hire the dumbest mafuckas alive to work in his cow cemetary.
Now don’t get me wrong, I use to work at a MickeyDs, so if you’re reading this and you’re a McDonald’s worker don’t think I’m saying you’re dumb because you work at McDonald’s…I’m not saying that at all, a j.o is a j.o ….I’m saying you’re dumb because you’re dumband I’m mad that McDonald’s hired you. Yes you, the worker that can’t make a double hamburger without cheese. How annoying is it to HAVE to check the bag when you’re on the go because you KNOW they fucked up your order, or worst, to get all the way home only to realize that they’ve…yep…fucked up your order. THEN they have the nerve to have an attitude when they’re the ones that fucked it up! Its fast food, we go there because we’re too lazy to cook, but messin with the house that Grimace built you end up putting in more work than just tossing a Hot Pocket into the microwave.
Damn, I want a Hot Pocket right now, I was in the store yesterday and noticed that they have new flavors and everything…BBQ Chicken Hot Pocket, W…T…F. But that’s my ‘high’ side talking, back to the story at hand …
Anyone whose been keeping up with this site already knows my disdain for cops …it’s not that I don’t understand that there job is one that has to be done but it isn’t the cops (cops do their jobs w/ no b.s attached), it’s the stank ass pigs that stink up the pin (is that why they call jail the pin? pigpin?) and the unnecessary anxiety that black men are subjegated to from the force we’re suppose to trust to protect us is reason enough to hate them as a whole and love the cool ones as individuals….wow, now I’m starting to feel like a racist…
Oh well, when Officer stops playing OverSeer, filling us up with enough bullets to make an outline (chalk one) for life’s research paper, or at least when I get the image of my lil sister getting punched in the face, for only asking them a question (TRUE STORY!), out of my head then my disdain for the officer’s will be dropped…until then…
No matter how much I hate the establishment, I don’t hate people and this situation is still disheartening…
A plainclothes policeman who drew his gun while chasing someone he had found rummaging through his car was shot and killed by a fellow officer who was driving by and saw the pursuit. 25-year-old Omar J. Edwards died after being shot late Thursday within blocks of the Harlem police station where he worked–NYC Police Commissioner Raymond Kelly.
Today’s featured funny is banging on that cat Spectacular from Pretty Ricky aka The Pussycat Boyz (quick bang!) ..but yeah, for those that didn’t know (lucky you) dude put out this super suspect, scratch suspect, super criminally gay/convicted homo style dance video challenging Chris Brown, Day 26, Omarion, Bow Wow(why?) and whoever else wants to…*clears throat*…”cum get it”…the video is below, all my niggas out there view at your own risk….(unless you’re high/drunk and need something to rib and laugh at cuz the boy is ABSOLUTELY SERIOUS!)
Now if his video wasn’t funny enough (or the fact that Pleasure P’s replacement is some nigga named Lingerie…a NIGGA name Lingerie)…but I swear the replies to this video were even funnier…
First, here’s the animated version…
Then, here’s the guy that Spec stole his dance moves from….
And next here’s the FAD that he’s about to start…hopefully not, but its still funny…
I remember when I was younger hearing of this story about this girl, Autumn Jackson, trying to hustle, wait…gotta use the super official word…’EXTORT’…40 Million dollars from Bill “MyGenerationIsBest” Cosby by claiming to be his daughter out of wedlock. Yeah, theCo$bo was playing Pin My Tail On Her Donkey while married, admitting to having sex with Autumn Jackson’s mother, but refusing to believe that he could be the father. According to Cosby, he only slept with the girl’s mother ONCE…which should’ve been even more disrespectful because that is slick side saying Autumn’s Mom was providing shelter for WACKNESS in her panties….
Either way, she came at Dr. Jello threatening to go to the tabloids with her story if he didn’t cough, sneeze and vomit up every penny she asked for. The reason I remember it because I recall being in the barbershop and the old heads in there just couldn’t fathom why she would want so much money. It was funny because nobody believed Cosby’s claims that the girl wasn’t his child, they just couldn’t get over the fact that she wanted 40 Million dollars, which I can see their POV, I mean damn, $5-10 million would’ve been more than enough let alone 40…shiit, I would’ve taken $1 million, a lifetime supply of Jello Pudding Pops and Rudy’s phone number and would’ve been happy enough…
…sorry Raven, you fell off to me…nice bank account though…
At least once every coupla months I find myself faced with a hard decision, a decision that honestly takes me hours to figure out which way to go, because it’s outcome is really important to my livelihood….
For my cats out there that take their sex as seriously as I do, they know the plight we can face in the 24 hour Walgreens.
Trends, or better yet fads, are the driving force of the media’s chokehold on society. Aite, maybe not the driving force, but they’re definitely much more than just a fart on the highway. When a trend explodes on the mainstream, it cannot be denied and once the media start publicizing it, it cannot be avoided. Remember when pink was only for girls? When the rockstar fashion was only for white ppl and “weirdo” black folk? When button-ups was for ’squares’? When shoes with holes in them were only for nurses? What about when thongs were only thought to be for strippers and pornstars?
When big butts was counted as fat?
I’m not about to sit here and trace every damn fad dating back to when owning ‘niggers’ was ‘en vogue’, but I’m sure you get my point by now, that our society are sheep to whatever our idiot boxes say is cool and you’re ‘weird’ if you don’t fall in flock. Nothing to cry about, it is what it is…but this time it seems that the power of the FAD
Not to be confused with the other powerful FA
The power of the faD has been proven to have no boundaries or limitations and even that piece of the society that you always rule out on getting involved with us dumb youngins, now find themselves getting wrapped into the fixation that’s currently popular this month.
The senior moment of the hour this time can only be blamed on one man….
Yeah hes still that crazy white boy. We know Kim is the Bride of Frankenstein to his Herman Munster (though she’s surprisingly left out on this album). His love/hate/superhate relationship with his moms, heard it…homo hate, check…drug addict tendencies, murder, celebrity castrating…all here. Christopher Reeves! Mariah Carey! You haven’t been forgotten! Just throw in a sprinkle of rape, a bit of incest, a dash of vagina mutilation and a pinch of stepfather buttfucking sessions and we have the jist of what can be expected from not just Relapse but really pretty much any Eminem CD.
And with all of these seemingly psychotic aesthetics attached to the description of this comeback album, the main thing that cannot be denied after all 20 (really 22 counting the bonus tracks) songs have ended is that Eminem at damn near 40 is still literally shitting on these turds in this game that seems to be more satisfied with having stanky legs than crafting timeless albums, well with the cards dealt Em hits the royal flush.
I won’t say it’s his best album, but it is too solid to be denied as at least a piece of the reason why his fans fight for his recognition as one of the greatest to lyrically molest a microphone. For the people that thought he didn’t have it, or had lost it after the lackluster,lacklovester, lacking period called Encore he’s back to let the world know why he became our favorite trailer park, pill poppin mother’s day poster boy.
Today is a day like many other days that start off with morning prayers, yawns, scratches, deep breaths, sighs and silence.
today is like the morning troops were riding to Normandy, Aug. 29 as residents check wind damage homes and lit bbqs, the morning where Rosa Parks laced up her shoes headed out to work, the morning those kids decided that today was the day they were going to get service at the woolworth’s counter.
today is history! today in being historic is not our day (the present) today is the day those of the past and that of the future. today is the day my father & grandmother have been waiting on. today is the tears & pain of the past dedicated to fighting for tomorrow cause their today was unjust and inhumane.
today is the day that langston was writing about where he would finally get to sit at the table with the white folks and his guest eat and discuss as an equal instead of a 2nd class servant in the kitchen. this
is what today is.
but in this precious moment called today I’m still puzzled in the significance of it all. I feel the obvious of it as I watch a black man take the helm as commander-in-chief, which had been unfathomable in the past. I also recognize the rejuvenation of hope and dreams deferred in countless people especially in the youth (our future). I’m proud that obama has made it but i’m fearful of what’s to come. I see the comparisons of JFK & MLK. i’m spooked though because in all the hope and pride there is in the world i’m hoping that today is not blotted by the tyranny of evil. I’m also puzzled in the atmosphere of a party. I know today is ”THE DAY” but I’m lost on the concept of a party. I mean let’s celebrate but we shouldn’t make this an excuse to have a rum & coke or with the Obama girl. this day should really be the day we reflect on those of yesterday, the fallen and the
surviving, today and figure out how can we make everyday TODAY cause this day is a culmination of the fear. grief, the tears, the prayersm and the hope of the past…
Out of all the cartoon families of the 80’s…Who didn’t rock with the Jetsons?
Back before The Simpsons and The Griffins (Family Guy) made cartoon families, not suitable for the entire family, we had the Jetsons to set the trends. I mean, The Flintstones were cool, but you really didn’t wanna live with em. Just something about using your feet for tires and taking showers with dinosaurs didn’t seem too appetizing, not to mention that niggas wasn’t on toothpaste or chewing gum so keeping conversation to a minimum without a phone to txt on would’ve sucked.
And The Cosbys were ok, but sometimes things just seemed too unreal….
Alaska, Alaska, Alaska. I swear before the Republican Party infected the country with Palin the only thing I thought of when thinking of Alaska was Eskimos, Polar Bears, Vampires and Santa Claus….yes in that order. A very close minded thing to say, but hey, at least I’m admitting my ignorance…now if only the country would do that in return for me, because due to the reports that’s done on my city of New Orleans, I’ve got to deal with white lady tourists sitting in Subway two booths away from me, eating $5 footlongs and talking about how surprised they’ll be if they get back to their hotel rooms and haven’t been looted (TRUE STORY)…yeah…har har fuckin har…so Alaska’s getting off easy…
Old people are taking losses left and right. From the Morgan Freeman accident leading up to the huge huge John “He’s Too Old To Be President” Mccain loss, to this…
and don’t forget…
It seems like Old People just can’t get the W with wrinkles in tact. Hell I woke up this morning and saw this random report of a 61 year old woman drowning in a frozen pond trying to save her dog….the dog lived, ain’t that a bitch (literally).
Well, have no fear Seasoned Citizens, the curse is over your chosen one has arrived…too bad it had to come through tragedy…but,hey, what miracle doesn’t?
Eminem is one of my favorite rappers, one of the hugest selling points for him as a rapper is his story growing up in a house with an abusive mother. I use to listen to the song “Cleaning Out My Closet” whenever my Moms or Grandmoms pissed me off, and I swear even at my most angry I could never bring myself to say half of the things he was coming at his Moms head with….
“You selfish bitch! I hope you fuckin burn in hell for this shit!”
“Hailie’s getting so big now, you should see her she’s beautiful/But you’ll never see her she won’t even be at your funeral!”
“Bitch do you song! Keep telling yourself that you was a mom!”
“Remember when Ronnie died, you said you wish it was me? Well guess what, I AM dead, dead to YOU as can be!”
One rule of being a gentleman is to keep your cool and composure at all cost, but right about now I gotta loosen up this tie and take off this expensive suit jacket and talk to the people for a minute. The haters especially.
Pardon my french, but what the fuck is wrong with y’all!?! Are you so desperate for an R&B bad guy that you gotta find a way to create one in me??
I commend any couple that has the audacity and the fortitude to climb aboard a Relation Ship together and test the waters and storms of love. Now while I do believe that love is real and possible if you find someone you click with (and I’m not saying “THE ONE”, I’m saying ‘A ONE ‘that works for you), personally I’m not big on the titles aspect of it all. Boyfriend, girlfriend, boo, spoogie, FUBU (hint: the ‘BU’ stands for buddy) whatever, in my book the only title that means anything is the one you get after marriage. Hell, you gotta sign papers, give away half of yourself (possessions included) and piss off God to get out of that one, and if you’re a woman you have to undergo an identity crisis depending on how long you’ve had this dude’s last name…so whether you’re religious or not it’s a title (WITH POWER) to respect…
I’m going to say (or type, rather) something that this Gary Coleman looking man(?) did….
….and you’re going to tell me if his behavior should be considered normal or crazy. Easy game right?
: Mmmmkay, I’m trying to grasp something here, how will you know what people’s answers are? Hmmm?
The best part about this game is, I don’t even need to know your answers, because if you agree with me…YOU WIN! If you don’t….well, I don’t even need to call you a loser, because you probably already know….AINT THIS GAME GREAT?!
Off top I would like to, of course give major major general corporal lieutenant and any other army innuendo sized presidential PROPS to Barack for securing the presidency, anyone thats been following this site knows my stance on the Barack-Man and words can’t even express the impact and the symbol this represents not only for the black race, but for our country as a whole, and even though words can’t express it…of course you know my brain will still find a way to fart out something to input cuz I have an ass full of expressions that are just bubbling to be passed to the people, smell me?…but I’ll get to that in DECEMBER…just in time for the homie to be sworn in….good shit and congrats Mr. PRESIDENT
(his lambo’s blue)
Yeah, the site has been on hiatus for months (still is) but getting on here today and seeing that there’s still people stopping by on a daily basis has been damn encouraging, and I thank everyone for their emails, views and comments urging me to get back on my shit…seriously it’s GREATLY appreciated….and best believe I’ll be getting back on my shit as soon as I can flush out all the things thats been pissing my time away…
School and really this acting thing especially (they cast me as MACBETH, yeah Shakespeare’s homie) has taken such a hold over my life that I had to take a break from the site (and damn near erything else), but we’re going full steam ahead in December…so stick with me, THE SITE IS NOT DEAD! YOU CAN STILL KEEP IT ON YOUR BOOKMARKS! Because I’m still on my mission to cure the WWW of all that infectious bullshittious boredom….
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten son, and whosoever believed in him shall not perish but have everlasting life” —John 3:16
The way the Bible tells it, the world was sooo horrible that God had had enough of burning bushes and turning lakes into period juice, and instead decided to take matters into his own hands by giving us Jesus…
And everybody knows that Jesus was THAT DUDE…he was like a walking medicine cabinet, but all of his medicine worked and you didn’t need any health insurance…(guess Jesus was a democrat)
For those of you wondering how gas prices affect the rich, Diddy is here to show you his pain…
With Poverty, Unemployment, bullshit city destroying natural disasters and my ass not being signed being at an all time high….I can say out of all this….Diddy’s pain has GOT to be the most heart wrenching one of all….get that man some gas money so he can get on his private jet to get to his million dollar parties and billion dollar pussy…ASAPTUALLY….
This should be the Featured Funny for the week, FAREAL….just a few weeks ago Yung Berg was running his mouth about not liking “darkbutts” and now karma has put her dark skinned foot up his ass and down his throat with one leg…
Mannn, you can’t make this shit up, the world makes me happy, I swear, because laughing at it helps me get through life’s dramas…..like this story, a one legged prostitute gets killed because the dude knocked her out of her wheel chair and her one legged ass busted her dome ona wall….it isn’t suppose to be funny, at all and don’t get me wrong, I’m not laughing at her death…real shit, rest in peace 38 year old Elizabeth Acevedo….
Religion is the touchiest subject that can come up in any conversation when people are really honest. I say ‘when people are really honest’, because most people don’t say what’s truly on their mind’s regarding the subject, even the most like minded people hide certain thoughts and feelings regarding their faith for fear of being looked at as a traitor.
You tell a Muslim that Jesus would whoop Muhammad’s ass and that confessions to a baby touching priest is the only way to Heaven and he’s going to throw a porkchop at you…
You tell a “devout” Christian that you have doubts about whether everything in the Bible is true and he’s going to go apeshit and try to prove to you that everything is indeed straight from the mouth of God through the hand of man…his reference?…the very same Bible that you’re questioning of course…
Here on FlyWithBats, I report and comment on the news that catches my attention, things that genuinely interest me and make me say “Wow, I gotta tell somebody about this”, which is how the idea for the Gotham News section of this site came about….the Pastor that cut up his wife and had her in the freezer since 2004 made me say “Wow, I’ve got to tell somebody about this” as did Kiefer Sutherland’s attempt at becoming an R&B singer…but one of my most notorious Christopher Wallace sized interests of all time came in the form of watching Barack Obama aka the Mighty Morphin Super Nigga’s rise to prominence.
From the time he entered his ‘goofy’ name into the race, to everyone realizing at the same time that he was black and not Israeli, to that sexy ass Obama girl basically becoming the first pebble to Mt. Obama’s Olympus aka The Barack Phenomenon, to the underlining mating ritual that was this years Primary Runoff with Hillary (we know there’s a sex tape, we know), to the Barack Obama/Hillary/Mccain media orgy that transpired once the Republicans chose Moses Jr. to be their nominee, all the way to the day Barack finally scored one for the history books, our “political Messiah” had riden the democratic donkey all the way to the Democratic nomination…
Bill ‘O Reilly was thrilled, Rush Limbaugh watched Roots in his honor and Bill Clinton got the domestic beating of his life from Hillary, hell…the entire black community was acting as if we finally got our reparations, Barack had become our 40 Acres and a democratic mule…
The hugest beef to ever happen in hip hop is without a doubt the Tupac -vs- Biggie fued, the ramifications of it were too great for anything else to ever compare….I guess until the East Coast -vs- The South beef pops off, but hopefully that waste of life never happends.
The key players in the Pac n Biggie beef, aside from the deceased would have to be Suge Knight, Diddy and Faith Evans…We won’t ever get the full and true stories from neither the Barber’s Punching Bag nor the Toothpick Poster Boy….but it looks like the “Bitch of Biggie” will give us some insight into one of hip-hop’s many unsolved mysteries. Check out these exerpts from her upcoming book, Keep the Faith (SO CHEESY!)
After reading this story I couldn’t help but respect dude’s wishes, like I’ve only been to a couple of funerals, and like anybody else at times I imagine what my funeral is going to be like, how many people are going to care to show up, what will my legacy be and even moreso how fresh am I gonna be going down into the dirt.
I know for many people it doesn’t matter because you’re dead anyway, but being fresh going to the after life feels like a symbol, this is the last look you’ll ever have…why not keep it 100…like this guy, Angel Pantoja Medina..
….no, that’s not some dude coolin against a wall, that’s the corpse of 24 year old, Angel Medina. Dude said that he never wanted to lay down for anybody, even in death. His last wish was to die standing…so in turn, they got the funeral home to embalm him using some special no name method, then proceeded to get kid as fresh as can be and held the wake and the funeral with the corpse upright and coolin in his Mom’s living room. He’s been in that position for three days…
dI remember back when I was little gas use to cost like $0.98. Well when my grandfather was young gas was a nickel…imagine that shit, a nickel…as time goes by change is a chameleon that we can feel but can’t see. Well, most of us can’t see it, the ones of us that can end up doing criminal shit in order to cheat time. For example this guy I’m reporting on, James Daniel Miller the third…Mr. the third is a 55 year old pot head that began growing his own weed because weed prices had gone up….i guess when he was little a dime bag must’ve looked like an ounce…
OLooks like everybody is getting a case of the DJ Khaled’s, but this posse cut is actually for something of substance. USATODAY reports that Mariah Carey, Beyonce, Mary J. Blige, Rihanna, Fergie, Sheryl Crow, Miley Cyrus, Melissa Etheridge, Ashanti, Natasha Bedingfield, Keyshia Cole, Ciara, Leona Lewis, LeAnn Rimes and Carrie Underwood have all come together to provide a vocal orgy on a track named “Just Stand Up” with all of the benefits and proceeds to be used for cancer research study.
When it comes to the Oscars, Spike Lee has been getting shitted on for years. It’s crazy that such a well known and respect name like SPIKE LEE has yet to get the real props that he deserves. Maybe he’s just too black for the Oscars….no, that isn’t a maybe….SPIKE LEE IS TOO BLACK FOR THE (GOLDEN) OSCARS.
Case in point? Malcolm X…why didn’t Malcolm X win an Oscar?
This was a movie that told the story to a “T” and even had Denzel ACTING….yakno, that thing that he’s always getting props for doing but lately barely does…
Malcolm X was too black for the Oscars too, half of em on the board prolly had parents catch beatdowns from some of Malcolm X’s followers back in the day (before his Africa calmed him down) and thought to themselves…
: Malcolm X got a movie? Fuuuck that, I’ve got only two words to tell Spike Lee and Denzel Washington?
Today’s Featured Writer is my dude ‘Kill Bill’, he tagged me in this note on Facebook and I have to say it was speaking on some realness, it was some hot shit fareal….not hot shit like sayin it was a steamin pile of shit, I mean hot shit like the shit was hot…like it was the shit….feel me? If not, you will after reading this…
Over the past couple months I’ve been contemplating how I would go about writing this letter. I guess spur of the moment inspiration is the best…….Well here goes.
I sit here at work ingulfed in one of my moments, you know one of those moments when everything seems so clear in your life. And I sit back and I get sad, mainly for a couple reasons. Mostly because I miss the past and the present is ever changing and the future is uncertain. Remember those days when you were sitting in the principals office and your stomach dropped because he was about to call the house because you fucked up?
Me and McDonald’s have a love/hate relationship, I love to hate their drive thru workers and Ronald hates my love of burgers without cheese. If cheese could kill me I’d be a damn millionaire because I would’ve sued Mickey Ds long ago. For some reason Ronald decides to hire the dumbest mafuckas alive to work in his cow cemetary.
Anyone whose been keeping up with this site already knows my disdain for cops …it’s not that I don’t understand that there job is one that has to be done but it isn’t the cops (cops do their jobs w/ no b.s attached), it’s the stank ass pigs that stink up the pin (is that why they call jail the pin? pigpin?) and the unnecessary anxiety that black men are subjegated to from the force we’re suppose to trust to protect us is reason enough to hate them as a whole and love the cool ones as individuals….wow, now I’m starting to feel like a racist…
No matter how much I hate the establishment, I don’t hate people and this situation is still disheartening…
I remember when I was younger hearing of this story about this girl, 
…sorry Raven, you fell off to me…nice bank account though…
“That Ultra Ribbed is a beast” –
“that Ultra Thin feels greaaaat”—
Trends, or better yet fads, are the driving force of the media’s chokehold on society. Aite, maybe not the driving force, but they’re definitely much more than just a fart on the highway. When a trend explodes on the mainstream, it cannot be denied and once the media start publicizing it, it cannot be avoided. Remember when pink was only for girls? When the rockstar fashion was only for white ppl and “weirdo” black folk? When button-ups was for ’squares’? When shoes with holes in them were only for nurses? What about when thongs were only thought to be for strippers and pornstars?
Yeah hes still that crazy white boy. We know Kim is the Bride of Frankenstein to his Herman Munster (though she’s surprisingly left out on this album). His love/hate/superhate relationship with his moms, heard it…homo hate, check…drug addict tendencies, murder, celebrity castrating…all here. Christopher Reeves! Mariah Carey! You haven’t been forgotten! Just throw in a sprinkle of rape, a bit of incest, a dash of vagina mutilation and a pinch of stepfather buttfucking sessions and we have the jist of what can be expected from not just Relapse but really pretty much any Eminem CD. 
…Today’s Featured Writer is my family, my brother my dude, MIKE 5IVE…check out on his reflection of the day, this historical day…
Alaska, Alaska, Alaska. I swear before the Republican Party infected the country with Palin the only thing I thought of when thinking of Alaska was Eskimos, Polar Bears, 
“You selfish bitch! I hope you fuckin burn in hell for this shit!”
I commend any couple that has the audacity and the fortitude to climb aboard a Relation Ship together and test the waters and storms of love. Now while I do believe that love is real and possible if you find someone you click with (and I’m not saying “THE ONE”, I’m saying 
: Mmmmkay, I’m trying to grasp something here, how will you know what people’s answers are? Hmmm?
This should be the 
Mannn, you 
Obese people have the best excuses.
Religion is the touchiest subject that can come up in any conversation when people are really honest. I say ‘when people are really honest’, because most people don’t say what’s truly on their mind’s regarding the subject, even the most like minded people hide certain thoughts and feelings regarding their faith for fear of being looked at as a traitor.
Here on FlyWithBats, I report and comment on the news that catches my attention, things that genuinely interest me and make me say “Wow, I gotta tell somebody about this”, which is how the idea for the Gotham News section of this site came about….the 
The hugest beef to ever happen in hip hop is without a doubt the Tupac -vs- Biggie fued, the ramifications of it were too great for anything else to ever compare….I guess until the East Coast -vs- The South beef pops off, but hopefully that waste of life never happends.
: NAH!
